Hormones do the damnedest things

On Saturday night, Fiona and I had just gotten home from a dinner party. It was a bit late and we were walking into the house when Fiona tripped over the front stair and careened face first into a stone wall. She bruised both of her knees, gave herself a cut above the right eye and broke her glasses clear in two. It was a bit of a scary moment, but she had the woman's instinct to protect the baby by smashing her face into the wall rather than land on her tummy. Is there any other circumstance in which crashing face first into a stone wall is considered a protective instinct? I'll report back if I can think of any.

A good meal for the baby

The baby is getting huge and I just figured out why. The baby has just finished eating Fiona's stomach muscles. She now relies totally on gravity in getting up off of the couch and getting out of bed. Fiona's in her third trimester now, but you would never know it to look at this picture though, would you? She's still going to yoga, playing golf pretty much every weekend, swimming, walking and not letting the fact that she has a small child insider her that you can actually see move through her skin. I think that if the roles were reversed, I would spent a good 45% of my time in bed, a further 45% of my time on the couch, 5% of my time moving between the bed and the bed, 5% of my time learning to count to 100 and 5% of my time doing everything else.

Consumerism recapped

I just dropped three grand on baby paraphernalia but we still don't have a rocker or bookshelves for the baby's room, any linens or any clothes.  Not sure whether I feel excited or slightly ill.

Consumerism gone mad

We made an appointment with a shopping consultant at Babies Galore this weekend to get an idea of exactly what we should be looking to purchase for our incoming little one. Babies Galore is a baby "superstore", which is a very different concept in Australia than it is in the US. In terms of scale, when you think "superstore", think Walgreens, rather than a Wal Mart. Significantly more manageable and not quite as sensory overloading as a Babies R Us, but still a one stop shop. Well, let me tell you, being overwhelmed is not a function of the volume of things in the store. In fact, they could have carried only one brand and I would probably still feel the same. Holy hannah there's a lot of things to buy! We spent over 90 minutes with Vivianne (our consultant) as she walked us through, among other things, prams (strollers), cots, cribs, bassinets, baths, change tables, chairs, bottles, monitors, and car seats. We even did breast pumps. For the record, I'm not sure if that was my favorite part of the day or the most uncomfortable I've ever been. I'm calling that one a tie.

In all things, Vivianne was extremely helpful, but in different ways depending on the item. For example, for car seats and monitors, she essentially told us what to buy. She went through the motions of explaining pros and cons, but it quickly deteriorated into a "everything else is of lower quality for more money than the one I'm showing you now" kind of spiel. This was right up my alley. Two ticks on car seats and monitors quickly went up on the board. Conversely, we spent almost an hour discussing prams. We pushed and pulled and folded and lifted what must have been 25 prams. Just as an FYI, the most popular stroller in Australia right now costs A$1500 (the Bugaboo for those in the know), which is more than pretty much everyone I know paid for their first car. As I understand it, the primary things it has going for it are that you can get it in many different colors, the choice of which is entirely up to you, and it costs A$1,5000. Apologies to anyone who owns one as they seem to be very nice strollers, but that's just a bit out of my price range.

This was probably the first time that we felt overwhelmed during this whole process. Everything else has been a little scary, but significantly more exciting that scary. Saturday was just total overload. Fiona went home and watched the Cooking Network for two hours and I went to the driving range. I don't think either of us has a thought above a third grade level until at least dinner.

One final thought, I'm going to start a company and advertise things as the "Safest safety equipment for ensuring the safety of your safe child...Safe". It was not until I went into this store that I realized that I live a life with a risk profile that is somewhere between Evel Knievel and a South Central crack whore. Another little FYI for the Americans reading this. Most American stuff does not meet Australian safety standards and can't be purchased in Australia. That was the first I ever heard about the epidemic of small American children being smothered by folding changing tables. I suppose we are a bit more risk taking, but that's probably why we don't still have the Queen as our head of state. How you like me now Australia!

Freddie joins the family

On Saturday morning we bought a new Subaru Forester (Freddie the Forester), which is apparently the safest car on the planet if you believe the literature. We bought this car because I'm told by my wife that you can't have a new baby in a 1999 Jeep Cherokee with 100,000 miles, brakes that very nearly always work, no airbags, and an air conditioner that has gone the way of Luca Brasi. I have to admit, that is not a totally ridiculous opinion.

The Forester is station wagon if I ever saw one, but they market it as a "mid-sized SUV" in Australia, which is, I think, to sucker people like me who would never buy another station wagon into feeling quite good about the purchase. So, I like the car...I'm happy with the car...definitely the right decision....sensible, new dad thing to do...BUT I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be driving a station wagon and that's just one more piece of my youth slipping away. Thank god I still have all my hair.

First missed doctor's appointment

I missed my first doctor's appointment last week, which was a bit disappointing, particularly given the revelation that Keith (Fiona's obstetrician) made at that appointment. Fiona is 23 weeks along and Keith showed her a photograph of a baby that he delivered at 23 weeks. The kid ended up responding marvelously and was eventually valadictorian of his high school. The upshot of this revelation was that our child could live on it's own if it were born right now. Incredible.

For anyone reading this that is having a baby in Sydney, please go check out Keith Hartman. He's a good mate of Fiona's dad and has been absolutely wonderful. I can't recommend him enough.

The discount he's giving me to put this blog posting up is relatively minor. I swear.

Run to catch up!

I was recently reminded that it has been quite some time since I've posted on this blog. This is partially because I'm lazy (okay, mostly because I'm lazy), but also because we have left behind the exciting, "oh my god, we're having a baby" first trimester and moved swiftly into the doldrums of the second trimester. I've realized that not much happens for most of the second trimester. We're pretty much over the initial excitement, but hadn't yet moved onto the really pregnant phase. Fiona spent most of the second trimester in her normal clothes which were only slightly on the baggy side to hide the slight protrusion. We travelled to Queensland and New Zealand and even golfed most Sundays. There wasn't much to report, really.

Well, boy what a difference a month makes. Fiona is into pants with elastic waistbands (kudos to whoever invented that) and is now showing. I felt the baby move a couple of weeks ago, which was incredible (I can't believe there is actually a person in there). There has been a great deal of news and I haven't figured out a good segway between thoughts/stories so I'm just going to end this here and post three or four posts today to run to hopefully catch up with the missing months.