Consumerism gone mad

We made an appointment with a shopping consultant at Babies Galore this weekend to get an idea of exactly what we should be looking to purchase for our incoming little one. Babies Galore is a baby "superstore", which is a very different concept in Australia than it is in the US. In terms of scale, when you think "superstore", think Walgreens, rather than a Wal Mart. Significantly more manageable and not quite as sensory overloading as a Babies R Us, but still a one stop shop. Well, let me tell you, being overwhelmed is not a function of the volume of things in the store. In fact, they could have carried only one brand and I would probably still feel the same. Holy hannah there's a lot of things to buy! We spent over 90 minutes with Vivianne (our consultant) as she walked us through, among other things, prams (strollers), cots, cribs, bassinets, baths, change tables, chairs, bottles, monitors, and car seats. We even did breast pumps. For the record, I'm not sure if that was my favorite part of the day or the most uncomfortable I've ever been. I'm calling that one a tie.

In all things, Vivianne was extremely helpful, but in different ways depending on the item. For example, for car seats and monitors, she essentially told us what to buy. She went through the motions of explaining pros and cons, but it quickly deteriorated into a "everything else is of lower quality for more money than the one I'm showing you now" kind of spiel. This was right up my alley. Two ticks on car seats and monitors quickly went up on the board. Conversely, we spent almost an hour discussing prams. We pushed and pulled and folded and lifted what must have been 25 prams. Just as an FYI, the most popular stroller in Australia right now costs A$1500 (the Bugaboo for those in the know), which is more than pretty much everyone I know paid for their first car. As I understand it, the primary things it has going for it are that you can get it in many different colors, the choice of which is entirely up to you, and it costs A$1,5000. Apologies to anyone who owns one as they seem to be very nice strollers, but that's just a bit out of my price range.

This was probably the first time that we felt overwhelmed during this whole process. Everything else has been a little scary, but significantly more exciting that scary. Saturday was just total overload. Fiona went home and watched the Cooking Network for two hours and I went to the driving range. I don't think either of us has a thought above a third grade level until at least dinner.

One final thought, I'm going to start a company and advertise things as the "Safest safety equipment for ensuring the safety of your safe child...Safe". It was not until I went into this store that I realized that I live a life with a risk profile that is somewhere between Evel Knievel and a South Central crack whore. Another little FYI for the Americans reading this. Most American stuff does not meet Australian safety standards and can't be purchased in Australia. That was the first I ever heard about the epidemic of small American children being smothered by folding changing tables. I suppose we are a bit more risk taking, but that's probably why we don't still have the Queen as our head of state. How you like me now Australia!